Three to One, You Win

When three family members and friends tell you that your partner is no good for you, dump that partner. Take their advice. It’s that simple. They are right. You and your partner are wrong. Just cut off the relationship and tolerate the discomfort. You will be glad you did.

How do I know? Because I just got out of a relationship with a guy who was wonderful in the sack. He was wonderful intellectually. We shared similar philosophical ideas. But he was a machista man who would never admit to his jealousy or insecurity or doubts of any sort whatsoever. He made it seem like I was to blame for every problem and every moment of tension between us. Honestly, in my year with him, I cannot think of one instance of him reflecting on a wrong position of his, apologizing, and changing his behavior from that point on. He apologized on three occasions, quickly, but they were apologies nonetheless. But, he never altered his tough stance at all.

He believed his standard to be the best one, and one that I had to meet, period. Never mind that I had a standard for interacting respectfully. When I suggested more fair ways of communicating, such as sharing 50/50 airtime during conversations, he categorically refused.

When I talked with two close friends and a family member, they said that I deserved better, and that I should have nothing to do with him, even if I needed the money that I could earn by working with him. For the first time in my life, I listened. I was able to let go easily, because I knew that my friends and brother knew me better than my boyfriend ever did. They had my best interests in mind, unlike him, who had his best interests in mind, even though he claimed he was trying to help me.

Now I get to have normal interactions with people. I don’t feel confused anymore. I don’t feel weary. Sure, I miss him. But, truthfully, I don’t really miss him.